8 First Date Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Overlook

We don’t believe in strict dating rules because what works for one person might not work for another. Plus, it’s always best to be yourself from the start. If you try to follow rules that make you act differently than you naturally would, you might only realize later on that you’re not as compatible as you thought. That said, there are a few things that should make you think twice if they happen on a first date.

1. They Don’t Ask You Any Questions This is a red flag in any relationship, but especially on a first date when the goal should be to get to know each other. If they’re only talking about themselves and not asking you anything, it shows they might not be good at considering other people’s needs or interests.
2. They Talk About Your Future Together It’s a bit much to talk about a future together on the first date, no matter how well the date is going. At best, it’s overly forward. At worst, it’s kind of creepy. The only thing they should be asking about is whether you’d like to go on a second date.
3. They Bring Up Their Ex Too Much Talking about an ex—whether it’s positive or negative—is a major red flag. If they can’t stop mentioning their ex, it’s likely they’re not fully over the relationship and not ready to move on. You can always ask them directly, “Do you feel like you’ve moved on from that relationship and are ready to date again?”
4. They’re Rude to the Server or Bartender This is a huge red flag, no matter who the person is. If they’re rude to someone who’s just doing their job—getting upset over a small mistake, talking down to them, or refusing to tip—it shows a lack of respect. This kind of behavior hints at a sense of entitlement, which is never a good sign for any relationship.
5. They’re Always Looking at Their Phone If they can’t focus on you during the first date, how do you think they’ll behave when you’ve been together for a while? Constantly checking their phone shows they’re not giving you their full attention, which is a big problem.
6. They Question Your Life Experiences If someone doubts your life experiences—especially when you share something personal, like a time you’ve been marginalized or experienced trauma—that’s an immediate red flag. No one should make you feel invalidated for your experiences.
7. They Don’t Take Reproductive Health Care Seriously If they downplay the importance of birth control, abortion, or your access to reproductive health care, it speaks volumes about their values. It’s not just about politics; it’s about how they respect your right to make decisions about your own health and body. This is a basic human right, and dismissing it is a sign of deep incompatibility that’s worth walking away from.

Before you even meet, it might be worth asking about this. It’s an easy way to filter out people who don’t share or respect your values.

8. They Talk About Crypto We’ll just leave that there.