How to Politely Decline Plans and Enjoy a Solo Date Night
There’s something special about spending time with friends at a lively brunch or grabbing drinks with coworkers after a long week. But there’s also something just as satisfying about locking your front door and having the night all to yourself.
Don’t listen to that nagging voice in your head telling you that turning down plans makes you a bad friend, or that saying no this time means they won’t invite you next time. In fact, taking time for yourself helps you show up as a better, more present friend when you do spend time together.
Here’s how to say no with confidence and enjoy a night dedicated to the person who matters most—yourself.
- Embrace your “Me” time confidently
First, recognize that spending time alone is important and that you don’t need to feel guilty for wanting it. A simple “I need a night to recharge” or “I’m having a date night with myself” is all it takes. Be honest and straightforward—no one needs a long explanation. Just saying “I can’t make it” is enough, but being upfront about prioritizing yourself shows confidence.
Example Response:
“Hey [Friend’s Name], I’d love to join, but I’ve planned a night in for myself. Thanks for thinking of me, and I hope you all have a great time!”
- Keep it short—no need to over-explain or apologize
Don’t fall into the trap of over-explaining or apologizing too much. When you give too many reasons, it can make your “no” sound uncertain, and your friends might try to change your mind. A simple, clear response is all you need.
Example Response:
“Thanks for the invite, but I’ll have to pass this time. Have fun!”
- Offer an alternative plan
If you’re feeling a little guilty about missing out, suggest another time to hang out. A coffee date next week or a movie night later in the month lets your friends know you still want to spend time with them, just not tonight.
Example Response:
“I can’t make it tonight, but how about we grab coffee next weekend? Saturday morning work for you?”
- Share your excitement about your solo plans
Let your friends know how much you’re looking forward to your night in! Talk about your plans with the same excitement you’d have for a fun night out. This helps normalize spending quality time alone, and it might even inspire your friends to try it themselves.
Example Response:
“I’m having a solo night tonight—reading, a long shower, and falling asleep rewatching Law and Order SVU. I’ll definitely join you next time!”
- Use text to make it easy
Texting is a great way to handle these situations without the pressure of face-to-face conversations. You can take your time crafting a response, and it removes any awkwardness. Plus, you can always ask for help if you need it. - Don’t fall for FOMO
It’s easy to feel like you’re missing out when you see friends having fun on Instagram. But their fun doesn’t take away from yours. Remember why you wanted a solo night, and enjoy it without guilt. Embrace the quiet, the snacks, and the bliss of not having to dress up.
